Costly Grace That Crucifies and Transforms
Colossians 3:5
"Put to death therefore what is earthly in you [in your body]: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming."
Well...we've arrived at it. Here it comes. The things people don't want to talk about. We’ve arrived at one of those raw, unflinching passages in Scripture that cuts against the grain of our culture; and often against our own lingering desires.
Oh the significance of the "therefore". Colossians 3:5 pulls no punches, and the "therefore" ties it directly back to the glorious truths in the opening verses of this chapter. Tying our sinful desires together with being raised with Christ, hidden in Him, appearing in glory.
Doesn’t fit comfortably together, does it?
In fact it's really uncomfortable, isn't it?
That discomfort is exactly the point. It refuses to let the new life in Christ sit comfortably alongside the old earthly ways. Our reality doesn’t gently coexist with our sexual immorality, impurities, passions, evil desires, and covetousness (which Paul flatly calls idolatry). It demands death to them. The reality is, a life of faith that is truly "at work in Christ" will feel the rub. The gospel never promised a painless renovation of the heart. It promises a crucifixion of the flesh so that the new man can live.
At any rate, a life of faith that is at work in Christ is not something to be ashamed of, and probably shouldn't bring shame on you, or God for that matter. But what is shame anymore?
Shame in Our Culture vs. Shame in Scripture
It's ironic, in our day, "shame" has become a dirty word in many circles. Our culture increasingly treats any sense of moral discomfort as toxic, something to be therapized away or denounced as oppressive. The solution to this problem is often framed as a radical self-acceptance; accountable only to our own shameful standards. Today, behaviors once universally recognized as destructive are now celebrated, while any call to repentance is labeled as "shaming" or "hate." Any violation against our conscience is discouraged or outright dismissed. The age old notion that we want better for our children has been flipped on its head. Today there is a growing consensus that our children should never be provoked into right thinking. In fact it can be argued by some that its child abuse to assert the gospel truths, especially the uncomfortable truths.
Yes, the irony is thick and telling. In a culture that once understood shame as a healthy moral alarm, something that could steer us away from destruction and toward what is good, we now treat almost any moral discomfort as a form of violence. Behaviors the Bible (and most of human history) recognized as destructive are paraded as liberation and identity, while any call to repentance, self-control, or "putting to death" the earthly things in Colossians 3:5 gets branded as "hate," "bigotry," or toxic "purity culture." The ancient parental instinct to "want better for our children" has been inverted. Instead of guiding kids toward virtue, wisdom, and a well-formed conscience, even when that involves necessary discomfort or correction, there’s a growing push to shield them from any sense of moral unease. The idea seems to be that children should never feel the sting of "wrong" because feelings of shame or guilt are inherently damaging.
This trend, healthier forms, can be wise and grace-filled. But when it slides into never provoking "right thinking," never allowing a child to feel the weight of a poor choice, or treating every boundary as potentially traumatic, we end up raising a generation less equipped to handle the real world, or more importantly, the convicting work of the Holy Spirit.
Scripture paints a different picture.
Godly shame and conviction are not tools of destruction; they are instruments of mercy. The discomfort Paul stirs up in Colossians 3:5 isn’t meant to crush us under the weight of our failures. It’s meant to wake us up to the glorious incompatibility between our new life in Christ and the old earthly ways. Like disturbing our sleeping child who hasn't gotta up or ready for school and the clock is ticking. It may seem unkind, but what will they ever learn if we don't stir them up.
When the Spirit brings conviction over sexual immorality, impurity, evil desire, or covetousness-as-idolatry, it is specific, restorative, and always paired with hope, not condemnation.
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1).
So why then does this matter stir up so much controversy in the hearts and minds of so many?
At its root, it collides head-on with deeply held modern assumptions about human autonomy, identity, and pleasure. It challenges the idol of unfettered desire and self-authentication.
The idol: "my truth," "my body, my choice," "follow your heart."
The scriptures say of these idols, that our deepest longings must be reordered around Christ, not the self. And so, admitting that some desires are evil and must be put to death feels like an attack on our personal freedom and identity. Naming our desires as sin doesn't sit well in our minds. Many hear it as, "God (or the church) hates who I am," rather than, "God loves you too much to leave you enslaved to what will destroy you."
The scriptures say that sexual immorality isn’t just "private behavior"; but that it unites us with something (or someone) in a way that affects our union with Christ. The scriptures say that consent + pleasure isn't a right form of thinking, but in fact these sins are uniquely damaging to the body of Christ.
Speaking of the body of Christ, inside the church, some soften or sideline these texts to avoid "shaming" people or driving them away, fearing it undermines grace. But grace without truth isn’t the gospel; its license. It's permission to worship your idols and not just in private, but openly and boldly within the context of the congregation. It's communion without confession, forgiveness without repentance, grace without discipleship, the cross without Jesus Christ. It's cheapened love. It lets the old earthly nature keep breathing, even thrive, under the banner of "inclusion."
But real grace, the costly godly kind that flowed from the wounds of Christ, always transforms. It forgives freely, yet it also crucifies the flesh by saying, "go and sin no more" so the new man can live. It forgives freely, declaring "Neither do I condemn you," yet it immediately calls us forward with the transforming command to sin no more.
Jesus spoke those words to the woman caught in adultery (John 8:11). He didn’t minimize her sin or excuse it. He rescued her from condemnation and stoning, but He didn’t send her back to the same life of compromise. That's an important distinction to make and understand. "Go and sin no more" was not a demand for instant sinless perfection (none of us achieves that this side of glory). It was a loving, authoritative call to a new direction. Jesus is saying, leave the old patterns behind, walk in the new freedom I’ve just given you, and let My grace remake your life.
It was grace and truth in perfect union...exactly what the gospel always delivers. The same grace that covers our guilt also crucifies our flesh because you are no longer your own; you were bought with a price when you claim to live "in Christ."
Cheap grace whispers, "You’re forgiven, keep on living however you want."
Costly grace says, "You’re forgiven at infinite cost, now die to what cost My Son His life, and live the new life I died to give you."
In the church, this means we refuse to offer license disguised as love. We don’t sideline Colossians 3:5 to avoid discomfort. Instead, we speak the FULL gospel that Jesus modeled:
• Come into the light, confess honestly (1 John 1:9).
• Receive full pardon, no shame that condemns, only conviction that restores.
• By the Spirit’s power, actively "go and sin no more". Starve the old desires, renew the mind with Scripture, flee temptations, and put on the new garments of compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, and love (Colossians 3:12-14).
This is not a burden; it is liberation. This gospel teaches that the only emptiness worth fearing is a life still chained to these idols of our desires.
Amen?