The Red Pill Awakening
Spirituality/Belief • Culture • Writing
We serve the gospel and advocate for our Lord and God Jesus Christ by sharing our gospel stories and we believe that "You are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9
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God’s Initiative in Giving “Ears to Hear” and Restoring the Soul

Q: How can a believer know they are among the elect?

Ephesians 1:3–10

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth."

Assurance of our election is not automatic or unvarying; it develops over time, it can differ in strength and may be temporarily obscured by our sin or doubts, but it is possible, and we are encouraged to discover it through scriptural means.

According to Calvinism, only the elect are irresistibly drawn by God to repent of sin, recognize their need for grace, and trust solely in Christ’s redemptive work on the cross. The primary evidence of our election is our genuine faith in Jesus Christ as our Savior. We can see this is the scripture, "he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him." It is in fact our faith "in him" that qualifies our election. the elect are drawn by God to believe the gospel, so if someone understands their sinfulness, repents, and trusts in Christ’s atoning work for salvation by grace alone, this faith itself testifies to their elect status. This faith is not self-generated but a gift from God, making its presence a clear indicator of election.

John 6:44 Jesus said:

"No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day."

The Bible does not instruct believers to fret over their own election vs. non-elect status but to believe in Christ; saving faith is impossible without his divine election and therefore making it a reliable indicator. There is an unbreakable "golden chain" of salvation foreknowledge, predestination (election), calling, justification, and glorification. Experiencing God’s effective call and justification through faith confirms one’s place in this chain. Rather than obsessing over our hidden election, believers are simply called to repent and believe the gospel.

Romans 8:29–30

"For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified."

Our assurance is also grounded in the Holy Spirit’s internal testimony, which bears witness with a believer’s spirit that they are children of God. While hypocrites may deceive themselves in this regard with a focus on outward expressions of Spirit-like charisma, true believers can discern these graces, pressing on in faith despite their imperfections. It's an inward joy and humility, not a presumption.

Romans 8:16

"The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God."

This internal Spirit-led governance of our conscience is seen as a childlike fear of God, a godly sorrow for sin, and a hunger for righteousness. It's the inward evidence of the graces and the Spirit’s witness, without relying on extraordinary revelations, and dalliances. You'll know it in your heart, mind, and spirit. And yet, believers are encouraged to examine themselves for these signs, because self-deception is possible for the hypocrites, but true graces align with God’s Word.

Philippians 3:12

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own."

As my wife would say, "would you be willing to stand before God and answer for your ways."

It's a biblical standard:

Job 13:15

"Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face."

And so this internal test of our spirit and our convictions is among our assurances for election, but are there external evidences?

Election manifests outwardly in a life changed by the gospel, Jesus taught that true disciples are known by their fruits, and he asks...

Matthew 7:16

"You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?"

These fruit of the Spirit (the byproduct of the Spirit's efforts) are repentance from sin, love for God and others, good works, and virtues like compassion, kindness, humility, and patience. For instance, in 1 Thessalonians 1:2–10, the apostle Paul recognizes the Thessalonians’ election through their "work of faith and labor of love," their turning from idols, and their reception of the gospel with power and conviction. It's an outward pattern of obedience and growth in holiness for Christ's sake, not to be seen doing but to do what the Father wills out of love for Him. Though it is not a sinless perfection, it is evidence of God’s prior love and election, since...

1 John 4:19

"we love because he first loved us".

And finally, our assurance in Christ as among his elect can also be discovered in our perseverance. The perseverance of the saints teaches that the elect will endure in faith to the very end, so ongoing faithfulness also confirms our election. This diligence is not a self-reliant self-righteousness but empowered by God working in us. This pattern of obedience and progressive holiness, though never perfect because of who and what we are, stems from God’s initiating love.

Philippians 2:12–13 (Be a light in the world, burning brightly for Christ's sake)

"Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."

Follow Jesus, as a Christian should, listening for his voice, with virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and love (2 Peter 1:5–11). Avoid false hopes in the many false doctrines of men that mislead the world of men. In essence, Predestination assurance balances God’s sovereignty with personal responsibility, urging believers to trust Christ’s promises, examine their lives biblically, and rely on the Spirit rather than emotions or works alone. And rest assured in Christ, even amid our trials or backsliding (as with David or Peter), God preserves the elect from final apostasy, restoring them through repentance and renewing their assurance (Psalm 30:5). Following Christ’s voice as sheep do their shepherd provides their security, and no worldly lies can snatch them from His hand.

John 10:27–29

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me,is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand."

Believers hear Christ’s voice primarily through the preaching and teaching of the gospel, as found in Scripture. Not merely listening to auditory voices or reading the words written on a page, but with internal recognition enabled by God’s supernatural work of regeneration. They hear and understand his voice because they are his children. The Holy Spirit quickens their dead hearts of sin into new life and new creation, granting them faith and the ability to discern Christ’s call amid the world’s noise.

Ephesians 2:1–5

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience, among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ, by grace you have been saved."

This hearing stems from the effectual (irresistible) call of God, where the Spirit applies the gospel inwardly, making it the "power of God unto salvation". I can attest to this personally, I had no good reason to follow Christ and love his words. It did nothing to benefit me in my career, or any other way except that my soul was refreshed and restored from the darkness of having sunk into sin. God's voice spoke to me even when I wasn't devoted to it. He sent his word to call me to where the Spirit illuminates' truth and convicts the heart. Time after time his word showed up or showed through the darkness. It’s a mark of election: true sheep recognize and respond to the Shepherd’s voice. The searching Shepherd who goes out from the ninety-nine to find the one. It's the grace of God, prevenient grace, grace that goes before. Believers experience this as a personal relationship, confirmed through the inward witness of the Spirit, even before they understand that relationship. I describe it as God whispering my name. It’s a beautiful picture of grace that precedes our response, confirming a personal relationship through the Spirit’s witness, sometimes before we fully comprehend it.

Romans 8:16

"The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,"

This is why true sheep in Christ recognize their Shepherd; they’ve been given the ears to hear by the Father (John 10:3–4, 27). Believers experience this as an unearned refreshment of their souls, restoring them from sin’s grip, much like the psalmist who says, "He restores my soul" (Psalm 23:3). It’s not about our devotion earning it but God’s faithfulness initiating it. We're not earning our salvation nor our call to it. We cannot attend to it and generate it through our devotion to rituals and dogmatic practices. We are led by the hand into it by the will and power of God. By his preparatory grace that God extends, going before, to all people, but is irresistible by those who God elects. God’s saving grace is effectually applied to the elect, overcoming their resistance and infallibly leading them to conversion and perseverance because he gave them the ears to hear and eyes to see. This grace is "prevenient" in the sense that it precedes our faith (God acts first). Yet it’s not universal or resistible, it’s particular to those chosen before the foundation of the world. He ensures the sheep hear, follow, and are secured, as the Shepherd sovereignly seeks and saves the lost one (John 6:37–39). This distinction highlights God’s glory in salvation, removing any boast in human will and false promises that live in the traditions of men.

True election manifests in a hunger for God that transcends circumstances, as the Spirit illuminates truth and convicts the heart progressively. It’s a mark of the elect, where the relationship begins with God’s pursuit and grows through ongoing communion; prayer, Scripture, and obedience, fostering assurance that we’re His, even in our seasons of doubt.

From start to finish, our faith is secured by our faith in Christ and His will. Our faith isn’t secured by our own fluctuating faith or willpower but by Christ’s faithfulness and will. Perseverance isn’t optional; it’s guaranteed for the elect. God is the author and perfecter of our faith. This one truth, (Our salvation is all of grace, from start to finish), liberates us from fear, false promises, or self-reliant traditions, calling us instead to grateful obedience and worship.

As RC Sproul puts it in his book Chosen by God,

"What predestination means, in its most elementary form, is that our final destination, heaven or hell, is decided by God not only before we get there, but before we are even born. It teaches that our ultimate destiny is in the hands of God."

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your sovereign grace that draws us to Christ, restores our souls, and assures us of Your eternal love. May we hear Your voice clearly, follow You faithfully, and rest in the security of Your hand. In Jesus’ Holy name, Amen.

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Acts 9:17-19
So, Ananias departed and entered the house. And laying his hands on him he said, "Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus who appeared to you on the road by which you came has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit." And immediately something like scales fell from his eyes, and he regained his sight. Then he rose and was baptized; and taking food, he was strengthened.
 
The disciple named Ananias in Damascus has a vision in which the Lord speaks to him concerning Saul/Paul who had been spending the last three days sightless and fasting both food and water. This is a pivotal moment in the early Christian story. This scene marks the transformation of Saul (later known as Paul) from fierce persecutor of the church to one of its great apostles.
 
Saul has a dramatic encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus. a blinding light and Jesus’ voice confront him: "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?" Saul is left blind, fasting, and praying for three days; a period symbolizing humility, repentance, and preparation, much like Jonah’s three days in the fish or Jesus’ three days in the tomb. Ananias, a disciple in Damascus, receives a vision from the Lord instructing him to go to Saul. Ananias is understandably hesitant at first (Acts 9:13-14), given Saul’s reputation for arresting and harming believers, but he obeys God’s command. Ananias enters the house where Saul is staying and lays hands on him. Ananias relays the message: Jesus, who appeared on the road, sent him for two purposes, restoring sight and filling with the Holy Spirit.
 
Acts 9:18
"Immediately something like scales fell from his eyes, and he regained his sight."
 
This isn’t just physical healing; it’s a metaphor for spiritual enlightenment. Saul’s blindness represented his previous spiritual darkness in persecuting the church, and the "scales" falling away signify clarity and conversion. Saul eats and is strengthened, and he spends time with the disciples in Damascus, marking the beginning of his integration into the Christian community.
 
Paul’s later writings reflect on this conversion as a direct call from God, underscoring its authenticity.
 
Galatians 1:15-17
"But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son to me, in order that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with anyone; nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me, but I went away into Arabia, and returned again to Damascus."
 
Early church fathers like Augustine saw this as a model of divine election, where God chooses and transforms whom He wills. But even more than this I think it's important to note that the local church serves God's purposes, especially in regards to new believers in the way. After his very sudden conversion, Saul needed baptism, food, and fellowship. And the disciples at Damascus were there to serve God in these things. This encourages us to support new believers (or even ourselves in weak moments) through practical care and inclusion. If God can turn a persecutor like Saul into the author of much of the New Testament, imagine what He can do with our lives. It’s a story of hope for anyone feeling "beyond reach."
 
Like Ananias, we might be called to reach out to "difficult" people, perhaps someone who’s opposed to our faith or who has hurt us. Ask: Where is God prompting me to act despite hesitation? Ananias isn’t mentioned anywhere else in the Bible, suggesting he was an "ordinary" believer, a reminder that God often uses unsung heroes. But this also highlights for me the importance of the local church over individual notoriety.
 
In my own life I've had something like a sudden conversion. Not as dramatic as Paul's, but turbulent, nonetheless. And not long after I was convinced/convicted by God's Word to find a local church community and so I set out to find one. At that time I wasn't hyper-focused on the political situation in the churches. I simply wanted to fellowship with God's people and I left it up to prayer and discernment. I was convicted in my heart by God's Word toward that end, and I wanted to be obedient to God's will.
 
Hebrews 10:25 - The Verse That Convicted Me
"not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."
 
At the time I was deeply involved in my own weekly study of God's Word and finally got around to this verse. Honestly it convicted me profoundly. I felt at the time as if God wrote that verse just for me. It’s a profound biblical principle that echoes throughout the New Testament, but it really hadn't convicted me beforehand.
 
The author of Hebrews (I believe Paul) urges believers to hold fast to their faith amid trials, holding unswervingly to hope, spurring one another toward love and good deeds, and not neglecting fellowship. The "fellowship of the believers" (koinonia in Greek) refers to a shared life in Christ: worship, prayer, teaching, breaking bread, and mutual support. It has its place in Christ's earthly kingdom, even if they are stubborn, lazy, lukewarm, argumentative, arrogant, and so on. It’s not optional, especially for new believers; it’s essential for growth, accountability, and endurance, especially as "the Day" (Christ’s return) approaches.
 
After Saul’s dramatic conversion and healing through Ananias' obedience, verse 19 notes that he "was with the disciples at Damascus for some days." This immediate integration into fellowship was crucial, Saul needed teaching, protection (from those believers who doubted him), and encouragement to begin preaching. Without the believers’ embrace, Paul's transformation might have faltered. Ananias’ obedience modeled fellowship in action: welcoming the former enemy as a brother in Christ.
 
It was like that with my little country church on the edge of town. It was a very small village congregation with a long history dating back to the early 1800's. It was founded in the "Congregationalist" tradition as a community of believers, with some ties to the earlier puritan roots. Today that church operates under the United Church of Christ synod. It's probably not as progressive as its synod, but just the same it's definitely aligned with that political ideology. I mention this because it's a testimony to how God can use even the apostate faith conventions to make disciples. It's a testimony that every believer is an individual in the eyes of God, not a religious group. Though he created the "church", and all its many iterations, He deals with the individual when it comes to salvation.
 
Take me for instance. I spent years in God's word and in prayer and fasting before going to a church. I eventually found a beautiful little country church on the edge of town. I didn't know anything about the UCC at the time. What I knew was I found a small village church with beautiful believers there. A whole bunch of Christian history lived there. It was a church populated by retired clergy and wonderful Bible study. My wife and I renewed our wedding vows there. And my youngest daughter was baptized there. I served for a very short time as a deacon, and I learned about church history there. That time of local church instruction was wonderful for a new believer like me. It wasn't until much later on that the political leanings in that synod were made clearer to me. And that's okay. That's a testimony to me that God can use even the error of apostate conventions to do some good for Christ's kingdom.
 
You know, as a part of my studies at that time, I learned a lot about the history of "The Church". And I'm thankful for that instruction time. It was like a short course in church history for me. And it didn't take very long for me to begin noticing the divide in the churches. I remember learning how the puritan church started in New England and spread throughout the New York "frontier". And eventually these faith communities created towns around these churches. The American "frontier" was founded upon these churches. On many different denominations and synods. As the frontier expanded westward, including into New York, these Puritan influences spread. Congregationalists (and their offshoots) helped found towns centered around the church, where unity in faith was paramount. The Congregationalist tradition, in which my first church draws from, traces it's origins directly to the Puritans who settled New England in the 1600s, seeking to "purify" the Church of England through covenant-based, autonomous congregations. And the American Baptist churches were also founded on these early puritan traditions. They eventually broke off from those purian traditions, mainly focusing on the believer’s baptism (by immersion, for adults) rather than infant baptism, which they saw as unbiblical. And they would move out into the frontier and found their own towns and churches. Many early Baptists were Separatists from the Church of England or Puritan circles, prioritizing congregational autonomy and personal conversion, echoing Saul’s own dramatic shift apart from Jerusalem.
 
Our nation was literally built upon this autonomous tradition of worship and community. This pluralism: Dutch Mennonites, French Huguenots, German Baptists, Quakers, and more, highlights how God’s kingdom advanced through varied traditions, even amid conflicts like the Revolutionary War. It’s a testament to unity in diversity, much like the early church blending Jews and Gentiles.
 
These independent minded communities of believers each felt that they should be a self-governing gathering of believers, free from hierarchical control; a radical idea that emphasized personal piety and communal accountability, much like the early church in Acts. I was drawn to these ideas early on because I was searching for a church that closely resembled the first century church model I had studied in my personal bible study.
 
You know, in those early days of our nation, it was unheard of that a town would have more than one church. Interesting to think about that. Unity in the faith was very important to these early Christian Americans. New towns popped up as the Word of God traveled throughout the frontier. And each town needed to build a new community of believers. Where I grew up, in the Mohawk Valley of New York, these communities were mainly Protestant, though in the cities the Roman Catholic church was present as well. It’s a powerful reminder from Romans 8:28 that God works all things for good, including through conventions or synods we might later question. Salvation is individual, yet the church (in all its iterations) is God’s design for collective growth.
 
Ephesians 4:11-16
"And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love."
 
Even if a congregation is stubborn, lazy, lukewarm, argumentative, or arrogant, it’s often where we learn humility, forgiveness, and perseverance. In the local church we find friendship with God and with His people who are broken, just like us. Let's face it, the Christian community is the church of the dropouts, the sinners, the failures, and the fools (like the song goes).
 
In my experience, God uses these different dimensions of the church to prepare and send disciples into the world. And that means it's relying heavily upon flawed people. People who are going to get the scriptures wrong, they're going to get Christ's teaching and intent wrong, and they're going to back up their ideas with compromise and new cultural norms. This all circles back to hope: If God transformed Saul, a hypocritical Pharisee, through a hesitant disciple and a fledgling community, and if He used a small UCC church to ground my faith under the instruction/example of good and faithful Christians, despite later realizations about their politics, then no one is "beyond reach."
 
Just as a funny side note on this thread, I first noticed the division in the church ideologies thanks to a local Mennonite church. They made a habit of walking through this little farm town each Sunday following their church services. They walked through town dropping tracts about their faith at various doorsteps. I of course loved this and engaged them often. And one day I was going to my own little UCC church to work on something and noticed they had stuck a tract in our church door. I laughed and of course I read it. It’s like a gentle nudge from history itself, highlighting the beautiful (and sometimes quirky) ways faith communities express their convictions. Their actions embody a "disciplined evangelism" that’s persistent yet non-confrontational, much like early Anabaptists distributing writings amid persecution. I truly appreciate their willingness and commitment to evangelism. And God often uses unexpected encounters to deepen our understanding. It was a Godly wakeup call, I believe sent specifically for me. Mennonites often emphasize conservative theology, community discipline, and a withdrawal from "worldly" politics, contrasting the much more integrated progressive denominations like the UCC.
 
I wrote about it in my journals and it caused me to study their history. But it struck me that there was this sort of distinction being made by the Christian communities. This caused me to ponder on these matters more and eventually as I progressed in my studies and lay ministry work which exposed me to the larger world of UCC politics, I gained firsthand experience in how the progressive movement has evolved in the church. It’s a reminder that, while national bodies lean liberal (on LGBTQ+ inclusion and social justice), individual local churches vary greatly, fostering the fellowship I cherished.
 
In the context of the larger synod I learned that progressives derive their identity from politics, viewing Jesus as a social liberator, whereas conservatives like myself emphasize theology and personal salvation. In the context of the synod I learned that Clergy often lean more liberal than congregants, amplifying divides on issues like LGBTQ+ rights or abortion. But I also learned that these people are people, imperfect just like me. Hebrews 10:25 urges, we’re called to fellowship despite these things, encouraging one another toward love and good deeds for Christ's sake.
Our takeaway today is in my mind that distinctions can prompt growth, not just division, echoing Saul’s integration into a skeptical Jerusalem/Damascus community. God works through imperfect vessels, turning "tract moments" into profound testimonies.
 
Sparked by those Mennonite tracts and my local UCC experiences, I was led to a lifetime of immersion in church history, systematic theology, and a focus of study into the early church fathers. Studying figures across many eras and traditions; Charles Finney (the fiery revivalist emphasizing free will and social reform), Paul Tillich (with his existential "ground of being" theology), Dietrich Bonhoeffer (whose costly discipleship amid Nazi oppression resonates so powerfully), Augustine (the architect of doctrines like original sin and grace), Thomas Aquinas (the scholastic giant bridging faith and reason in works like the Summa Theologica), Karl Barth (the neo-orthodox voice thundering against liberal theology), Anselm (famous for his ontological argument for God’s existence) and many others. It reflects a thoughtful engagement with diverse perspectives: Catholic scholastics, early patristics, modern liberals, and evangelical reformers. It's no wonder it solidified my Protestant roots, emphasizing sola scriptura, justification by faith, and the priesthood of all believers amid those varied voices.
 
But among all that history, I think my favorite story has to do with a local church history story that piqued my interest. I'm referring to Asa Gray (1810-1888), the renowned botanist and devout Christian born in Sauquoit, New York, right there in my home Oneida County. Asa Gray wasn’t a traditional theologian by trade, he was America’s foremost botanist, often called the "father of American botany" for his work classifying North American plants and teaching at Harvard. Which for a guy like me (being a horticulture expert by trade) stood out. But he also deeply engaged theological questions, especially in reconciling science and faith. As a committed Presbyterian, Gray corresponded extensively with Charles Darwin starting in the 1850s, exchanging over 300 letters that influenced both men. I recommend every Christian check these stories out. It's extremely interesting now that we've seen the future they both could have only speculated about. Gray defended evolutionary theory as compatible with Christian theism, arguing that natural selection could be God’s method of creation; a "design by wholesale, not retail," as he put it. For Gray, science glorified God, echoing Romans 1:20. But that's enough for now. Maybe someday I'll write more on this topic.
 
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the transformative power of Your grace, as seen in Saul’s conversion and in our own lives. Guide us in fellowship with believers, deepen our understanding through Your Word and history’s faithful witnesses, and strengthen our faith amid divisions. May we obey Your call like Ananias, reaching out with love and humility.
In Jesus’ Holy name, Amen.
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Being raised in the shadow of bitterness:
Uprooting the Bitterroot with God’s Grace
Hebrews 12:14-15
"Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled."
 
You can't keep a perfect law of love and keep God's grace in your heart and not create a bitter root of anger if you're striving to ghost people (cutting off contact without explanation) in your life. You will "fail to obtain the grace of God" with all your plans and boundaries. You can't maintain grace in your heart if you're harboring disrespect and dishonorable behavior toward another. Ghosting or dismissive behavior often stems from unresolved anger, pride, or a refusal to engage in reconciliation, which contradicts the pursuit of peace. It's a poisonous attitude that spreads, harming both the individual and the community. By choosing to disconnect in a way that dishonors another, we risk failing to obtain God's grace and defiling others along the way. There's a fallout that comes from this bitterness. It hurts others who love them. They may think themselves righteous and alone, but their anger stirs up bitterness among many others. And now they've become the very thing they thought they were trying to separate from. Bitterness is contagious, spreading negativity and division. Ghosting can be a form of malice or indifference that allows bitterness to fester, blocking the flow of grace. You may think you're being holy and righteous, but you're really just stirring up malice, gossip, and slander.
 
Ephesians 4:31-32
"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you"
 
That bitter root digs down deep and weaves it way away the arteries of your heart. It squeezes and breaks them, and it will make you sick. Ghosting not only harms the individual harboring bitterness but also spreads pain to others, creating a ripple effect of division and defilement.
 
Ghosting often stems from unresolved anger, pride, or refusal to reconcile. It creates a poisonous attitude that spreads its self-righteous hypocritical harm.
 
Deuteronomy 29:18
"Beware lest there be among you a man or woman or clan or tribe whose heart is turning away today from the Lord our God to go and serve the gods of those nations. Beware lest there be among you a root bearing poisonous and bitter fruit"
 
It's something that starts out small but grows insidiously, corrupting not just the individual but the whole community. Ghosting someone doesn’t just affect the person ignored; it can cause confusion, pain, or division among mutual friends, family, or church members who care about both parties. You may justify your actions as a form of self-protection or moral superiority, but this pride blinds you to the collateral damage. You may model or provoke negative behaviors in others; gossip, slander, or further estrangement, creating a cycle of division. This hypocrisy is a spiritual trap, where the attempt to distance oneself from toxicity leads to embodying it.
 
Failing to obtain God’s grace, as the scripture passages warn, doesn’t necessarily mean losing salvation but can speak to missing the active, transformative power of grace that enables peace and holiness. Ghosting, as an act of malice or indifference, blocks this grace by prioritizing self over love for others, contradicting the “perfect law of love”.
 
James 2:8
"If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing well."
 
You've got to ask yourself, do you want resurrection, or do you want healing? Let's see if we can figure this out...
 
Your bitterness is making you “sick” is supported by both scripture and science. Psalm 32:3-4 describes how unconfessed sin (including unforgiveness) causes physical and emotional decay, while studies (Mayo Clinic, 2023) link chronic resentment to stress-related illnesses. Forgiveness, as Ephesians 4:32 urges, is the path to healing. Love requires action, kindness, reconciliation, or at least respectful communication, not the indifference of ghosting. And that bitterroot will cause leaks in every other relationship around you. It'll bleed into other areas of your life, like a hemorrhaging internal wound.
 
Personal Testimony:
I'll tell you a story. My family came through many generations of bitterroot bitterness that choked out love and joy in that time. My dad and his siblings loved each other in their own way, but the past crippled their love and forgiveness. Too many instances of abuse I suppose. Too much anger was involved. And too little forgiveness was given. And so, generations were poisoned by it. The result was that my parents were caught up in that bitterness by no fault of their own. And so, when I came along the family was very unkind to them. This isn't to say that my dad wasn't a jerk or causing division among them, but that bitterroot doesn't stop with the parties involved.
 
I was just six months old when my mom had enough. She left my dad and went home to her dad. He wanted nothing to do with her child (me) because he wanted nothing to do with my dad's child. You see, there's that bitterness again. Why? I don't know, no one knows really because the anger continues the harm even far beyond to initial hurt. Whatever started this fight was long ago forgotten, but now that bitterness is bruising the next generation. I was punished for the sins of my ancestors I suppose.
 
For six years (the first formative years of my life) I lived with a foster family because of this bitterroot's death of love and grace. I lived just a few houses down the street from my ancestral family home. I knew my extended family and my father who lived just down the street, but I wasn't one of them as far as I knew.
 
So I began my life as an outcast. No real family and no true understanding of what that truly means. This was the fallout of bitterness. I was the fallout of that bitteroot. The "bitterroot", gets passed down through your family, and this shows how unresolved anger and unforgiveness can become a legacy of pain, punishing generations for sins they didn’t commit. My mother’s rejection by her father, my separation from family, and my years in foster care, all stemming from conflicts long forgotten, reveals the devastating reach of this spiritual and emotional decay.
 
My dad's family wasn't helpful much, in fact not at all really. Some tried, but again that bitterness crept in and put an end to grace. My aunt and her children tried to help my dad and care for his newborn son. But his brother, like my grandfather (my mother's dad), wanted nothing to do with his brothers' child. So, this generational trauma pushed me out again.
Six years later my dad takes me out of the foster home, and he and I begin my new life together. He believed I was old enough now to take care of myself for the most part. He worked most of the time but tried his best to provide a home for me. He was depressed and an alcoholic, and he took care of me with what he understood about love.
 
But what did I know about love?
 
Nothing really but what my dad taught me by his example. I learned about bitterness, drunkenness, and separation. I knew I belonged nowhere. I didn't have a family like my friends families. I didn't have a mom, she abandoned me six years before, and dad told me she was dead. And for twelve years I knew that to be true. Until that day she came to our front door.
 
What did I feel that day?
 
I was afraid of it. I didn't want it, I didn't need it, I didn't want a step family. I had learned in twelve years to be alone and comfortable in that aloneness. Bitterness had its roots deep inside me. I was born from it you could say. Every instance in my childhood that look even a little like love, hope, and joy was quickly ripped away from me.
 
This is the foundation of a principle that was forged in me. I believe you should never punish a child for the sins of the parents, or the family, or whatever. NEVER force a child to grow up in an environment that fosters bitterness. This is a foundational principle with me, and believe it or not it's not gracious or righteous.
 
What do you mean Mike? How can that principle be a bad thing.
 
Because it too can become a bitterroot if it doesn't allow for people to make mistakes. In fact, most principles don't allow for mistakes. There is rarely very much grace in a principle when its root is bitterness. So, as you can see, bitterness shapes not just families but the very core of a child’s understanding of love, belonging, and trust.
 
I didn't know my family. I didn't know my grandparents. I wasn't given the opportunity because bitterness had its roots deep inside my family. It was passed down through my family’s unresolved anger and unforgiveness. It became a force that isolated me, first through my mother’s rejection by her father, then years in foster care, and later through my father’s family’s inability to overcome their own resentment. An innocent child was made to bear the weight of sins he didn’t commit.
 
This created in my a resentment of a kind. It manifested itself in how I view people. I don't trust people. I don't trust authority. And I really don't like false accusations made against me. I suppose being raised in an atmosphere of bitterness created a sense in me that I was by default guilty of something in the eyes of others, even when I knew I was innocent. So I very easily believe most people are bearing false witness against me. Cut off from my grandparents, rejected by my mother’s father, placed in foster care, and distanced by my father’s family; all created a profound wound in me.
 
Hebrews 12:15
"warns of this very thing: a root of bitterness that "causes trouble and defiles many."
 
My story shows how this defilement can ripple across generations, shaping a child’s worldview and relationships. The resentment I carry, manifesting as distrust in people, authority, and a heightened sensitivity to false accusations, is a natural response to growing up in an environment where love and trust were scarce. This aligns with psychological insights: chronic exposure to rejection or unfair treatment, especially in childhood, can foster "hypervigilance" and a belief that others are prone to bearing false witness (APA, 2023). I can attest to this fact. I live with it daily.
 
Spiritually, this echoes the pain of being sinned against, which can tempt us to build walls rather than bridges. Distrust and fear of false accusations reflects a deep longing for justice and truth; qualities rooted in God’s character (Psalm 89:14). Yet, as I've hinted, resentment can become its own bitterroot, keeping me guarded and reinforcing the isolation I've already endured. I'm very distant for the most part. And it's ironic because I can easily fit into public life, in fact my vocation demands it of me. And I do alright with it. But I don't want it really. I welcome it when it comes, but it needs to be forced upon me, because my guarded nature will always resist.
 
Trauma profoundly shapes our identity, often reshaping how we perceive ourselves, others, and our place in the world. My story of generational bitterness, rejection, and isolation illustrates this vividly. Especially in childhood, which disrupts the formation of a stable sense of self. Being ostracized by family and placed in foster care, can lead to an identity rooted in survival rather than belonging. I can want a family all day long, but my identity will always have that connection to the bitter root (hypervigilance).
 
Survivors like me often develop "masks" to navigate social settings while hiding a wounded core self. My preference for distance, despite being capable of connection, suggests an identity caught between longing for belonging and fearing betrayal. And believe me, I take betrayal very personally. And often very loudly. This is the "defilement" I mentioned earlier. Defilement can distort our view of ourselves, making it hard to internalize spiritual truths like Psalm 139:14; that you are "fearfully and wonderfully made." My sense of being an "outcast," punished for others’ sins, may have led to an identity tied to rejection rather than divine purpose. So, this bitter root can sap my connection with my Lord as well. Maybe this is why I strive so much to keep that connection. I'm fighting my own root of bitterness. This hints at a redemptive thread in my story, an identity capable of extending grace (e.g. Kairos prison ministry), even if I struggle to receive it myself.
 
During a Kairos weekend event inside the prison, we have a forgiveness ceremony. I won't go too much into the details, but I'll share that we write down the names of people we need to forgive or who we need forgiveness from. And these notes get dissolved into a large bin of water. And they're gone. Put in God's hands. I've been involved in many of these ceremonies. I'll share now, that I've had the names of my entire family on those notes. My wife, my extended family, my mom, my dad, my children, and my own name. I've asked for forgiveness both ways, coming and going. I’ve left it there in God's hands. And I'm at peace with it to the extent that I am able given my bitter root identity.
 
Genesis 50:20
As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.
 
Joseph understood this idea that betrayal is raw and painful, especially when it comes from one's family. It wounds when we've become the subject of a double-cross. Joseph acknowledges the evil of betrayal but sees God’s greater purpose in it.
 
I understand this as well. Forgiveness, as I've practiced it, imperfect as I am, doesn’t erase the hypervigilance or fear of betrayal but loosens the grip some, allowing space for God’s good to emerge. The evil meant against me; family's rejection, abandonment, and the resulting wounds, has been real and painful. Yet, God is weaving good from it. My principle of protecting children from their family’s sins, though tinged with bitterness, reflects a heart aligned with God’s justice (Micah 6:8). And I see the prisoners as God's children as well. They need to face justice it's true, but they also need God's love and forgiveness. My hypervigilance, while painful, has honed a sensitivity to truth and fairness, which God can use for advocacy or discernment.
 
The "good" God intends might include a redeemed identity. Through forgiveness and faith, I'm moving toward an identity as God’s beloved, not an outcast. God is breaking these cycles of resentment. By releasing my family’s names in the forgiveness ceremony, God is halting the bitter root’s spread and hopefully ensuring that my children and others don’t inherit its pain.
 
But today there is purpose in the pain. My betrayal sensitivity fuels a calling to protect and guide others, as seen in ministry for the outcasts, turning personal wounds into communal healing if I can with God's help. There is still a lot of work to do in this regard. My children are not always at peace with me, and rarely do we speak. They don't appreciate my words and they resent my identity because of misunderstandings and frankly ignorance. The tension I share with my children, is a raw reminder that healing is ongoing. The bitterness still has a hold on my history. Their struggle to connect with me stems from their own wounds and bitter root misunderstandings, mirroring the family bitterness I've worked to overcome. This doesn’t negate the grace process; it highlights the complexity of relationships fractured by generational pain. I can’t control their response, but I can continue leaning into God’s redemptive purpose.
 
I pray for their hearts:
Following Matthew 5:44, I pray daily for my children’s peace and healing, asking God to soften their resentment. This keeps my heart open, even when they resist, much like Joseph’s patience with his brothers (Genesis 50:20).
 
I try to model grace where I'm able:
Knowing that I'm damaged goods and pretty much incapable of being lovable, I try to extend grace to the outcasts. Showing love without demanding response. With me it's not transactional. Grace isn't supposed to be a give and take, it's always unconditional. This mirrors Jesus’ persistent love despite rejection (Luke 23:34).
 
I reflect on other perspectives:
I know my hypervigilant intensity can make communication difficult, and I try to think about how that reflects upon other perspectives. This aligns with Psalm 139:23-24’s call to let God search my heart, helping me approach relationships with empathy, even when communication is hard.
 
And I trust God to find a way:
I've already seen God’s good in my redeemed identity and ministry. My children have very notably resisted my attempts to include them in these contexts. Some have vehemently stated they will never join me in this ministry. This tells me that there is an underlying tension between them and me and my redeemed identity. The bitterness still wants my family to cling to it. The bitter root won't allow for healing. And as a consequence, they can't accept a redeemed me. Not unlike the experience of the prisoners I know.
 
My response is to nurture my own peace, in daily prayer and devotional writing, affirming my identity as God’s beloved, countering the outcast narrative. Daily prayer and devotional writing are grounding practices for me, affirming my identity as God’s beloved. This practice puts me at rest and gives me power to overcome my hypervigilance.
I know I'm not alone in this work, God is with me, turning evil into good. I know all the tension is coming from misunderstanding and prideful things. I know resistance stems from the bitter root, from misunderstanding my journey and probably feeling disconnected from the grace I've found, especially if they associate me with the family’s past dysfunction. There's a lingering anxiety I call "the bitteroot", and what my children don't understand is that it's the enemy's energy they are feeding when the choose resentment toward me.
 
I don't think I'll ever completely be free from the hypervigilance, (a lingering side-effect of my childhood trauma; rejection, foster care, and betrayal), it's a survival mechanism that may never fully fade. Early trauma often embeds hypervigilance in the brain’s wiring, making reactive responses automatic. It's not an excuse, just my reality. It will always drive me to react when I should respond with grace. But I can try to soften my nature whenever I can. This is my work and God's work to be done. I acknowledge that God is with me, turning evil into good (Genesis 50:20), this is my faith, and it anchors my hope in His redemptive power.
 
Earlier I asked: "You've got to ask yourself, do you want resurrection, or do you want healing?"
I suppose the answer I've come to is we should want healing. Resurrection is wonderful when it comes, but the bitter root needs to be healed today if it's going to last. Thankfully grace is renewed with each new day.
 
Psalm 30:5
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.
 
Please pray for me in this work.
 
Heavenly Father,
You are the God who turns evil into good, who heals the brokenhearted and binds up our wounds (Psalm 147:3). I come before You, carrying the bitterroot of my past; rejection, betrayal, and the hypervigilance that guards my heart. Thank You for redeeming my identity, calling me Your beloved, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
Uproot the bitterness that clings to my family, especially my children, and replace it with Your peace and healing. Help me model Your unconditional grace, showing love without demand, as Jesus did. I lift up my children to You, asking You to soften their resentment and open their hearts to Your love. Guide me to pause and pray in moments of anxiety, trusting Your timing to turn this pain into purpose.
 
Thank You for never leaving me alone in this work. Strengthen me through Your Spirit to nurture peace, affirm my identity in You, and extend grace to the outcasts. May my life reflect Your redemptive power, breaking generational cycles for Your glory.
 
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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From Transactional Works to Transformative Love:
Knowing God’s Heart
Galatians 5:4
"You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law; you have fallen away from grace."
Thinking you've got to do something for God in order to deserve something from God, feels like a transactional love.
Let me ask you a question...if you don't hear those words (well done) from Jesus, would you still love Him?
Galatians 5:4 warns against seeking justification through the law, which cuts us off from Christ and His grace. Reducing a relationship with Jesus to a checklist of deeds, is not a gift rooted in Christ’s sacrifice. When someone does this they make an idol of themselves and their works. They are in effect saying their deeds are greater than Christ's sacrifice and love.
 
Relying on the law for justification severs us from Christ’s grace.
 
Why?
 
Because Christ's glory cannot have an effect upon us while we're still living in our own works of self-righteousness. It shifts our trust from His finished work to our own efforts. What if the virgins whose oil ran out were too busy practicing their self-righteous works, what if they forgot to fill up with God's love while they were working to fulfill their perceived religious duties.
 
When we make an idol of our works, we’re essentially declaring our self-righteousness sufficient, which dims the radiance of Christ’s glory in our lives. His grace can’t transform us while we’re clinging to the illusion that our deeds outshine His sacrifice. It’s like trying to earn a gift that’s already been freely given; our self-focus blocks the reality of His love and power.
 
Q: Why do people do this?
A: Unbelief. Because some will always fall back into self-preservation and performance. The enemy has convinced them that sin is so powerful that Christ could not forgive it, defeat it, or defend against it.
 
Think about this. If Christ can't defeat sin, even with forgiveness alone, with mercy, then He is not worthy to be called our Savior. You adopt this attitude, and you are saying Jesus is not worthy, he's not a perfect sacrifice. It's a subtle but profound rejection of Christ’s sufficiency.
 
People fall into this trap because the enemy exploits our human tendency toward self-preservation and prideful performance, whispering that sin’s power is too great for Christ’s sacrifice to fully cover. This lie leads to a mindset where we feel we must earn God’s favor, as if our works could outdo the cross.
 
Q: You want to know when true repentance and born again faith happens?
A: When your dependence upon yourself runs out. When your supply of self-sufficiency comes to end.
Born from above, salvation from dead works, happens when our self-dependence and self-sufficiency are exhausted. When we hit the end of our own resources, when we realize our works can’t save us, that’s when we surrender to Christ’s sufficiency. It’s in that moment of humility and brokenness that we truly grasp the power of His cross and are reborn by faith in Him alone.
 
Q: What is this thing, "dead works"?
A: Doing something, sometimes militantly, to get God to do something for you. It's spirituality without love for God. Maybe it's a love for the law. It's a desire to perform your love to earn God's grace.
 
Hebrews 6:1
"Therefore, let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God."
Dead works are not just futile efforts but a misdirected affection that prioritizes self-effort or legalism over a genuine relationship with God. As Hebrews 6:1 urges, believers must repent from "dead works" as a foundational step toward spiritual maturity.
 
Acting like what you think a Christian should act "to get God to do something for you" reflects a quid-pro-quo mindset, treating God like a vending machine rather than a loving Father. It's transactional love, not transformative love. Rigid rule-keeping, compulsive service, or ritualistic devotion to prove worthiness lacks the heart of worship, driven instead by duty, fear, or pride. A "love for the law" suggests an idolatrous fixation on rules or performance, where the law becomes a substitute for Christ’s grace. It's revealing the contradiction; grace, by definition, cannot be earned, yet dead works chase this impossible goal.
 
Let's look closer into why people fall into this trap:
 
1. Unbelief in Christ’s Sufficiency: The enemy convinces people that sin’s power outstrips Christ’s sacrifice, so they must add their own efforts to "secure" salvation. This leads to a "love for the law" as a false savior. This deception drives individuals to supplement Christ’s work with their own efforts. This lie creates a spiritual insecurity, prompting people to "add" their own efforts to ensure their standing with God. The enemy’s deception preys on human vulnerabilities, amplifying doubts about God’s grace. The enemy exaggerates sin’s power, making it seem unconquerable. The fear that "I’m not good enough" or "God won’t accept me" drives people to perform. Some view God as a harsh judge rather than a loving Father, assuming He demands constant proof of worthiness. The enemy reinforces this by twisting scriptures to emphasize law over love, obscuring God’s character as revealed in Christ (John 3:16-18). They forget that Christ did not come to condemn.
 
2. Fear of Losing Favor: The militant drive to perform often comes from fear; fear of God’s rejection or not being "enough." This fuels a transactional approach: "If I do this, God must respond." The fear of losing God’s favor stems from a deep-seated insecurity about our standing with Him. This leads to a transactional approach to faith: "If I do this (pray enough, serve enough, obey enough), God must respond (love me, bless me, save me)." This mindset is the essence of dead works; efforts devoid of love for God, rooted in fear rather than faith, and disconnected from the grace of Christ’s finished work. It's a distorted view of Christ's character. The enemy exploits this, sowing doubts about God’s unconditional love.
Remember always: 1 John 4:18
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear"
 
3. Pride in Performance: A "desire to perform your love" can stem from pride, where people want to take credit for their righteousness rather than rely on Christ’s. It's showcase faith. Pride rejects the humility required to accept grace, insisting on earning salvation to maintain control. This desire to "perform your love" refuses to admit dependence on Christ’s sacrifice. Pride is a core aspect of fallen human nature, seeking self-exaltation over God’s glory (Romans 3:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"). Many church cultures celebrate self-reliance and accomplishment, fostering a mindset where value is tied to performance. This spills into faith, where people assume God’s favor must be earned through impressive (sainthood) works.
 
4. Cultural Conditioning: Many are taught that love must be earned, so they project this onto God, assuming His grace requires payment through works. Cultural conditioning shapes our worldview, often teaching that love, acceptance, and value are contingent on our worldly and Church performance. These church-culture works are driven by a need to earn love and lacks worship, producing the "dead" quality of Hebrews 6:1. At the heart of it, these faith practices lack love for God. Example: Performing religious duties out of obligation feels hollow, missing the joy of a grace-based relationship with God. And without love all these works are like a clanging gong. All noise no substance, no love.
 
5. Lack of Intimacy with God: "Spirituality without love for God" is key. Without a deep, personal relationship with Him, people default to rules or rituals, mistaking activity for devotion. Loveless, performance-based faith. Believing God is primarily a judge leads to performing duties to appease Him, not seeking His heart. A believer might read the Bible daily but skim it as a task, missing the chance to hear God’s voice. It's faith without the hope of salvation, often tied to a faith that isn't anticipating Christ's return. A church that prioritizes church attendance or tithing over personal prayer and anticipating Christ's return can condition believers to equate activity with church devotion. Feeling unworthy to approach God in anticipating prayer, a believer might overcompensate with charitable acts to feel more righteous and thereby earn their reward. The enemy promotes this performance-based faith, making catechism feel more reliable than a vulnerable faith connection with God's word. Some believers never learn how to cultivate direct intimacy with God, especially if their faith community focuses on external practices. Growing up in a tradition heavy on liturgy but light on personal devotion can leave someone unsure how to relate to God personally. This is the danger of both orthodoxy and fundamentalism. Without a deep, personal relationship with God, people default to rules or rituals. Believers perform spiritual duties; prayer, church attendance, fasting, out of obligation, not love, treating them as checkboxes to maintain God’s favor. Praying a set number of minutes daily to "stay right with God," without engaging the heart in worship. This is the "love for the law" I spoke about earlier. Obsessively tracking church involvement to feel spiritually secure, rather than seeking God’s presence. It brings to mind the Pharisees who embody the pitfalls of a loveless, performance-driven faith. Prioritizing ritual over heart.
 
Modern "Pharisees" might enforce strict rules (e.g., orthodox ritualistic worship, self-righteous dress codes, traditional behavior standards) over grace, fostering a "love for the law" that sidelines intimacy with the word of God.
To avoid the Pharisees’ error and cultivate intimacy with God, believers need to know God.
 
Q: How do you "know God"?
A: Let's see if the word of God can help...
Jeremiah 9:24
"Let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness."
So right away we see that God shifts the focus from the believer toward Him. It's about engaging with God as a loving Father, not a distant judge, through prayer, worship, and trust.
 
John 17:3
"This is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent."
Spirituality must be rooted in love for God. Knowing Him fuels this love, making works a response to His grace, not a payment for it. Knowing God changes us, aligning our desires with His and producing fruit through the Spirit, not dead works (John 15:4-5). Unlike the Pharisees, who relied on law, knowing God means resting in Christ’s finished work (the resurrection and the anticipation of his return).
 
The Pharisees doubted God’s grace, relying on law over relationship. Their pride sought self-glory, not God’s heart.
Jesus used a parable to describe this:
Luke 18:9-12
He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: "Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’
It was cultural conditioning. Their tradition taught that righteousness was earned, projecting this onto God. Knowing God would have shifted their focus from dead works to a faith rooted in love.
 
How to "Know God" and Cultivate Intimacy
 
Prayer is a two-way conversation, not a ritual to earn favor. Share your heart with God and listen for His voice.
Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Pause to reflect, asking, "Lord, what do You want me to know?"
Read the Bible to know God’s character, not just rules. Approach it as His revelation of Himself, seeking His heart.
Psalm 119:105
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."
In your devotion ask God, "What does this reveal about God’s love, mercy, or faithfulness?" Journal insights to deepen understanding.
 
Q: Do you love worship?
 
Worship in love for Christ, not from a sense of duty. Worship through songs of love, prayers of thanksgiving, and reflection upon the gospels, and expressing your love for God, focusing on His goodness rather than performance. Unlike the Pharisees’ empty rituals, worship from love fosters intimacy, making works a response to God’s glory, not a transaction.
 
The Holy Spirit (not idols like temples, cathedrals, vestments and furniture) reveals God’s heart and empowers intimacy. Before your worship, your prayers, or your devotion to scripture, pray, "Holy Spirit, show me God’s love and truth." Be open to His nudges, like a sense of peace or conviction. Ask the Spirit to help you regularly examine your heart, confessing specific sins or fears in prayer. Thank God for His grace, accepting His love without earning it.
 
Conclusion:
Jesus said,
"Abide in me, and I in you" (John 15:4-5).
And the apostle whom Jesus loved wrote:
1 John 4:7
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God."
This verse powerfully connects to our discussion about knowing God to cultivate intimacy and avoid the Pharisees’ error of dead works. What Jesus taught they were lacking was love. Love for God and love for one another. They were trapped in a transactional relationship with God.
 
1 John 4:7 emphasizes that love is the hallmark of knowing God, as it originates from Him and is evidence of being "born of God." To know God is to experience and reflect His love, which is the essence of a personal relationship with Him. The Pharisees missed this mark, and Jesus said of them, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others."
 
Justice reflects God’s righteousness and commitment to fairness, equity, and care for the oppressed. It involves living rightly with others, upholding God’s moral order, and advocating for those who are wronged (Micah 6:8). The Pharisees practiced a superficial justice, focusing on outward compliance with the law. They neglected the poor, the marginalized, and sinners, judging them harshly instead of seeking their restoration.
 
Mercy is God’s compassionate forgiving love, extended to the undeserving, reflecting His grace and willingness to withhold judgment. It involves showing kindness, forgiveness, and empathy, especially to the broken or sinful. The Pharisees lacked mercy, condemning sinners rather than extending grace. Their rigid adherence to the law left no room for compassion, as they saw themselves as superior, not in need of mercy.
 
Faithfulness is steadfast trust in God and loyalty to His covenant, expressed through a life of obedience rooted in love, not duty. I see it as "anticipation" of Christ's return and a living faith that experiences Christ's Spirit even now. Faithfulness is a dynamic, forward-looking love for God.
 
Viewing faithfulness as "anticipation" connects it to our eschatological hope, where believers live with eager expectation of Christ’s second coming.
Titus 2:13
"Waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ"
This hope fuels obedience, not to earn favor, but to align with God’s kingdom. This makes faithfulness active and relational, not a static rule-following, producing works that are alive, not "dead".
 
By grounding our faithfulness in love, we echo 1 John 4:7’s link between knowing God and loving, ensuring spirituality avoids the Pharisees’ transactional mindset. This view transforms faithfulness from the Pharisees’ external, loveless adherence to law into a dynamic, Spirit-filled relationship that anticipates Christ’s return while living in His presence now in love.
 
Food for thought:
How do you see modern believers missing this kind of faithfulness; perhaps in routine faith practices or church cultures that lack anticipation or Spirit-filled life?
 
Prayer:
Heavenly Father,
We come before You with humble hearts, seeking to know You deeply and love You truly. Forgive us when we fall into the trap of transactional love, striving to earn what You freely give through Christ’s perfect sacrifice. Lord, we confess our unbelief, fear, pride, and the cultural conditioning that makes us think Your love must be earned. Break the enemy’s lies that sin is too great for Your cross, and help us trust in Christ’s sufficiency. Holy Spirit, guide us to abide in Jesus. Teach us to pursue justice by caring for the oppressed, to show mercy to the undeserving, and to live faithfully with eager hope, free from the Pharisees’ loveless spirituality. When our self-sufficiency runs dry, lead us to surrender, finding new life in Your grace. We pray this in the name of Jesus, our Savior, who calls us to know and love Him forever. Amen.
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