Called to Peace, Not to Performance
1 Corinthians 7:15b-16
"God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?"
The apostle Paul is writing to believers who are married to unbelievers. Some were asking, "Should I leave this marriage since my spouse doesn’t share my faith?" In the verses just before (7:12–15a).
God has not called Christians to constant strife, guilt-driven manipulation, or a lifelong project of "fixing" an unwilling heart. God has called his people to Shalom (peace). The same peace that is the atmosphere of the kingdom of God: Romans 14:17
"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit."
The same peace Christ gives that the world cannot give:
John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
If living with an unbeliever means daily warfare, contempt for your faith, or the destruction of your own soul’s rest, God is not requiring you to stay in that fire. He has higher priorities for you than turning your home into a perpetual battlefield. He has called you; first and foremost, to peace.
Even in the best of marriages, our fallen nature is already churning out plenty of conflict, selfishness, and misplaced desires. When you layer on the spiritual mismatch (one believer, one unbeliever), and then add the unspoken pressure that "I have to be the one to save them," it can feel crushing. Paul is saying here, "For how do you know…?"
You do not know whether your staying will lead to their salvation. You also do not know whether your leaving would hinder it. Only God knows the heart and the future. So stop carrying a burden the Lord never put on you: the burden of being your spouse’s savior. That role already belongs to Jesus. Your job is not to play Holy Spirit in someone else’s life. Your job is to live in the peace to which God has called you, to love faithfully while you are together, to pray earnestly, to adorn the gospel with a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:1–4).
Friends, there are enough things to worry about on a daily basis. The burning desire to breathe the air, drink the water, eat food, and have sex is more than enough for anyone. These natural things are relentless; they don’t take a day off. If the marriage itself becomes a constant, soul-draining struggle, something has to give, or the believer simply burns out. Paul’s point in 1 Corinthians 7 isn’t that the believing spouse is unimportant in the process of someone coming to faith. A gentle, consistent, joyful Christian life lived up close is still one of the most powerful forms of witness on earth (1 Peter 3:1–2). Especially when there are children involved.
So yes, there are already enough "lusts" (cravings, drives, survival instincts) warring in our members (James 4:1). God does not add to that list the demand that we personally convert our husband or wife, or else we’ve failed. The outcome of their soul belongs to the Holy Spirit, not to our performance scorecard.
Live faithfully. Love freely. Pray fervently.
You’re not failing God by refusing to carry a weight He never asked you to bear.
Rest in that.
Don’t imagine that your spiritual status with God depends on changing your external situation first. Don’t think you have to get your marriage "fixed" (or ended) before you can be right with God. Don’t think you have to wait until your spouse is saved before your own walk can be authentic. God called you (saved you, justified you, filled you with His Spirit) exactly in the mess you were already in: married to an unbeliever, or single, or slave, or free, or whatever. He didn’t wait for ideal conditions. He met you right there, in the middle of the brokenness, the loneliness, the mismatched yoke, the daily friction.
So when Paul says "remain in the condition in which you were called," he is not trapping anyone in misery (7:17–19). The God who called you in that condition is still with you in that condition. You don’t have to get somewhere else to be fully His.
You see, in the Corinthian church there were two loud, competing extremes at work:
1. The libertines ("Everything is lawful for me," 6:12; sleeping with prostitutes, getting drunk at the Lord’s Supper, etc.).
And
2. The hyper-spiritual ascetics who were saying, "Now that we have the Spirit, the body and everything physical is unimportant or even evil, so the highest form of holiness is to renounce sex, renounce marriage, renounce meat, renounce all pleasure."
Some were saying married people should stop having sex altogether (7:1–5). Some widows were being told they were holier if they never remarried. Some married believers were apparently separating from or divorcing unbelieving spouses because they thought it was "more spiritual" to be free of the contamination of an unbeliever (the very question Paul is answering in 7:10–16).
Paul dismantles the ascetic error with surgical precision:
Marriage is holy, sex in marriage is holy, and refusing your spouse sexually is actually a satanic temptation, not a mark of superior holiness (7:3–5). Singleness is a gift, but so is marriage; neither one is morally superior (7:7).
The ascetics thought they could achieve a higher spiritual plane by rejecting God-given things (marriage, food, sex, the body). Paul says no: the gospel redeems those things, it doesn’t abolish them.
His answer is liberating and almost shocking in its grace. God saved you right in the middle of ordinary, messy, embodied, sexual, married (or not) life.
Stay there.
Bloom where He planted you.
He’s already pleased.
He called you where you were.
That’s enough.
Prayer,
Father,
Thank You for calling us in the middle of our mess and loving us exactly where we are.
Lift the heavy yoke we were never meant to carry: the yoke of saving our spouse, fixing our marriage, or earning Your smile by our outcomes.
Replace it with the easy yoke of Your Son.
Let us love without manipulation, witness without desperation, and rest without guilt.
Guard our souls. Quiet our fears. Make us gentle, joyful, unshakable testimonies of a Savior who is enough.
In the name of Jesus, the Prince of Peace,
Amen.