Romans 13:8-10
"Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, "You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet," and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."
When people are asked what love means to them, you'll get many different answers. Some will say that love makes them feel chosen and desirable. Others will describe it as safety, protection, and comfort. Disillusioned people may refer to it as a seductive disappointment, meant to tease, promise, and then disappear. And the saddest will share that they don’t know if they’ve ever known love or ever will. Very few people will talk about their responsibility to the fragility of love, as a relationship that must be protected to survive and nurtured to thrive.
Love enhances our emotions, it resonates and responds to stress. Love waxes and wanes for these reasons. Love creates oxytocin, and responds to nostalgia, romantic feelings, and dreams. It's difficult to heal when it's been broken, and fragile when ignored. It susceptible to joy, hope, humor, and outside influences. When challenges threaten its existence, it must be prioritized and nurtured, or it will disappear.
But is this the love that Paul is describing?
The love Paul describes in Romans 13 is not a fleeting emotion, a biochemical rush, or a fragile romance dependent on feelings or circumstances. It is agape love, a deliberate, willful commitment that acts for the good of another, regardless of reciprocation. It is the love that "does no wrong to a neighbor," a love so powerful it doesn’t just describe the law but fulfills it.
Every commandment against the harm humanity causes; adultery, murder, theft, covetousness, is all swallowed up in this one command:
"Love your neighbor as yourself."
This isn’t the love that waxes and wanes with oxytocin or nostalgia. It is the unchanging love of God poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5), the love that mirrors Christ’s sacrifice for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8).
It doesn’t demand to be chosen or protected; it chooses and protects others.
It doesn’t disappear under stress; it endures and overcomes it.
This love isn’t fragile, it’s the most resilient force in the universe, the debt we "owe" to everyone around us, the only one we can never fully pay off.
Today, consider: What "debts" of emotional love are you still trying to collect?
Who is the person in your life right now; your spouse, child, coworker, neighbor, even that difficult person who you've been withholding love from because they don’t "deserve" it, they've never been there for you, or make you feel loved in return?
Today, commit to one concrete act of willful good toward them before the sun sets. Name them specifically. ____________________.
Do something that costs you time, comfort, or pride. Not because they earned it, or deserved it, but because you owe this debt.
Later in his letter to the Corinth church, Paul gives us the anatomy of this agape love in 1 Corinthians 13, the love that "never fails":
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
This isn’t poetry, it’s a battle plan. Every verb is active, every quality costly:
Being patient holds off retaliation. Kindness is active goodness. We celebrate others with blessings when we don't envy them. We silence our own arrogance when we do not boast. We're considerate and conscious to the needs of others when we refuse to be rude, and instead honor others. We surrender our pride when we do not insist upon our own dignity. Instead rejoicing in the truth we are not irritable, resentful. This agape love is an unbreakable commitment to believe, hope, and endure in that Spirit.
In John’s Gospel agape love is revealed as God’s eternal nature, Christ’s defining mission, and our impossible-but-enabled calling:
"For God so loved [agape] the world, that he gave his only Son…" (John 3:16)
"As the Father has loved [agape] me, so have I loved [agape] you. Abide in my love [agape]." (John 15:9)
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love [agape] one another: just as I have loved [agape] you, you also are to love [agape] one another." (John 13:34)
The pattern:
God → Christ → Us → Others.
We don’t generate agape; we abide in Christ’s and let it flow through us.
"To err is human; to forgive, divine"
- Alexander Pope (1688-1744)
This quote concludes the section of "An Essay on Criticism" in which Pope is advising critics – and, by extension, all writers – not to think that their natural wit and cleverness will make them a great writer. In this section we also find a couple of other famous quotes, ‘a little learning is a dangerous thing’, and ‘fools rush in where angels fear to tread’. Pope is arguing that good nature and good sense must be our companions. Forgiveness must be our priority. Making mistakes or ‘erring’ is a natural part of being human. Indeed, forgiving others for their minor faults is not only a humane act, but one which puts us on the side of the angels: a ‘divine’ act.
Pope reminds us: To err is human, making mistakes is our nature. But to forgive? That’s divine. It’s the ultimate act of agape, releasing others from the debt they owe us, just as Christ released us from the debt we could never pay.
Forgiveness is the most God-like thing you can do. Forgiving love is godliness. Everything else is hostile to God's grace. Being tenderhearted is just as God does. Expressing kindness is just as God is.
Remember, whoever has offended you has offended God more. And He forgave them. And so unforgiveness is a sin against God, not just against the one in which you hold in unforgiveness.
Caution: There is an ultimate time when justice comes. The extent of God's holiness is unknown but one thing is certain, we cannot exhault ourselves above Him. He who has forgiven you the most demands, commands, that you forgive as He forgives.
Jesus warns us: "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14-15)
This is no suggestion, it’s a divine condition. The forgiveness we received at the cross must flow through us, or it becomes blocked. Unforgiveness is the only sin that can choke God’s forgiveness in our lives.
Food for thought:
Your life today could be a matter of chastening, a humbling blessing from the Lord for unresolved unforgiveness. This can be a blessing if it brings us closer to agape resolution, or it can be an eternal curse unto death. It's up to you how it concludes.
Try this:
I confess: Who do I still hold in debt for hurting me? ____________________. Where have I demanded they "deserve" my forgiveness first?
Today, I will: Release their debt with one act of divine forgiveness; words of pardon, an apology I owe, help they don’t deserve.
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, I am human—I err and demand payment. Make me divine through Your agape. Today, I forgive ____________________ completely, as You forgave me. Let Your love flow through me. In Jesus’ Holy name, Amen.